When I named this blog as “Thoughts as IT IS” I knew I was lying. I knew the complexity of human thought, and I knew I could not articulate or document any of those perfectly. I would have promptly tried if it was a possibility! I strongly believe it is not a possibility. This post is one of the failed tries to articulate my thoughts. I have always tried penning down what I think. But in each of the tries, I ended up writing lies to make things simple. This time I shall not edit. I shall not rewrite and not make it simple!
Sensors
Its 1am.
I unlocked mobile phone. My eyes hurt. It decided to show a random illusion like a circle due to the sudden brightness hit from the phone. I started thinking, Is it the eye that showed these circles or the brain?
We hear, we see, we sense. Sound travels, hits our eardrum and brain interprets! It’s our brain which decides what we hear! Do we actually sense what is there, or is it the brain that decides what to show? Is there a mapping between the real-life physical information and the brain signals? What soundwaves corresponds to what information? Where is it stored, and how is it transferred generations to generations with improving accuracy? As we evolve, will we be able to feed ourselves electrical information directly? Like feeding the electrical information from the mobile phone directly to the brain without the speaker or screen? In that sense, we will be able to communicate with devices without interfaces directly? We don’t have to see/listen to any digital devices but instead wire them to brains to read them directly!
Now we all know what keeps me awake in the nights!! These stupid thoughts!
The dream!
I screamed, disturbed, waking up from a bad dream! I opened the notepad from the mobile phone, started noting down things that I remember.
///Notes from the notepad
Hot summer, I was in a crowded place with a date sort of!
A radio voice in the background
“Due to some orientation and environmental changes, air molecules have undergone subatomic changes; dielectric break down is drastically reducing days after days. And is observed that above 35-degree celsius air conducts! UN has requested all the countries to be cautious and shut down the electric stations …...”
A switch with an open plug turned on by a stranger in the crowded place, causing 240v of potential conducting through the air, electrifying the places burning us! It was one hell of a dream!
I have an answer to every problem that I face!! That is, “I’m an insect!”
Roughly around four years ago. I was headed back on a bus to my home from college, carrying a bag, and self-disappointment. I was unhappy for some random shits happened around. I was unhappy because I couldn’t decide my future for me. Questions raced as thoughts. Why am I not planning anything? Why am I not controlling anything happening around? I paused those self-centric questions and thought for a moment as an outsider to myself. Well, why should something have to work the way I want them to? In the middle of this mental chaos, a fly hit my chin through the window of the bus. Fell on my lap and was dead in seconds! Humans grew as the most intelligent species the earth ever had, they built roads and buses to travel, and the free-flying insect is dead for no fault of its own! If it was to die this way, why was it even created as a living being? Yeah, maybe it is meant to die this way. It is relatively small. If not bus, it might have died when a nearby elephant snored! Even I am relatively small compared to the Elephant! Elephants to whales, and so on.
The entire earth is a unit point when compared with the Universe! A stupid ball spinning around itself in the space. Does space end anywhere? If an object ends, we call it space. Where does this space end? Logically, space cannot end anywhere, is it? So there is an endless space around us! Are we living in an infinite space to which the earth is relatively a dot? If earth itself is a dot to the universe’s size, what am I? Relatively an insect to the universe? Like the insects for us, are us to this universe! Insignificant, small we humans are. Do humans have any purpose in this nature? Are we a positive force in this universe? Is there any significance to my existence in this infinite universe? I looked at the dead insect and asked, “What about my emotions and disappointments?”
The possibility of thoughts is limitless. We deal with our complexities alone coz it's hard to make others understand. We have not discovered any tool or medium to grasp someone’s feelings or thoughts fully. And it’s always hard to communicate and even harder to make people aware of it.
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